For the past 12 hours, I’ve been living somewhere between Earth and that cloud that The Temptations belted about in the ‘70s. It has been one of those afternoons when all of the stars and moons aligned and God chose to shine His light on me. It was surreal, almost. I’ve had these moments before. And all of them surpass all understanding.
Yep, I had one of those afternoons. And I’m still living in that moment when I received that email and I fell to the ground, thanking the heavens for all of the fortitude that has allowed me to bask in this anointed time.
It’s strange to me because I don’t think I’m an extraordinary writer, editor or leader. I’m above average in the dedication and ambition fields, but I know scores of other writers and journalists with golden pens who can write circles around me. But somehow, the opportunities continue to present themselves. Doors, windows and vents are allowing me to pass through without obstacles.
One of my absolute favorite quotes is, “When the doors keep opening, you’re in the right house.” I’m skipping through a giant mansion right now.
And it’s dreamlike because in 2011, I kept receiving rejection letter after rejection letter. No established publications were interested in me. I couldn’t even get a consolation email from CNN after I was denied for an internship for the third time. Discouraged is an understatement. But from June 2011 until now, the most prosperous season has cultivated. The resume is proof of that.
It’s not bad for a high school dropout. It’s not bad at all. But none of this is in vain. I know that I couldn’t be where I am achieving what I never thought was possible without God. I’m not in the business of forcing religion and spirituality on those unwilling to receive it. But this is MY truth and I’m standing in it.
My life is a bid to the awesomeness of the Creator.
I thank the Creator for ambition and vision. I began creating vision boards because of a dream I had about reporting from New York’s Fashion Week. We know how that ended.
I thank the Creator for shutting doors to lead me down the correct hallway. I couldn’t secure an internship at a major publication because I needed to blaze the digital journalism trail.
I thank the Creator for surrounding me with people who both encourage me and push my ideologies to the next level. One conversation with a Bennett sister opened the womanism door for me. A course with Yvonne Welbon, Ph.D. has allowed me to lay the foundation for a profitable venture. These were all people that I needed to meet to continue to excel. Iron sharpens iron.
I thank the Creator for air and water, food and health.
I thank the Creator for knowledge, intelligence and curiosity.
I thank the Creator for blessings.
I thank the Creator for life’s seasons. I’m an Agoraphobic turned writer. Both seasons were essential for me to develop into the woman I am. I’m thankful.
I thank the Creator for intuition.
I thank the Creator for loving me though I fall far from grace. Listen: I fornicate, cuss and watch Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. I’m snuggled in the bed when I should be in church. He loves and blesses me regardless of those shortcomings.
I thank the Creator for it all.
I thank the Creator for life.
All that’s sustaining me from questioning why I’m worthy tonight is The Fighting Temptations.
“Though I ain’t good enough,
He still loves me.”